對(duì)于成人來說，英語(yǔ)學(xué)習(xí)有時(shí)候會(huì)讓人感到很枯燥，更何況是孩子呢？今天小編就給大家分享一些兒童爆笑英語(yǔ)幽默小笑話精選的10篇笑話，來為孩子的英語(yǔ)學(xué)習(xí)增添一些趣味，讓英語(yǔ)學(xué)習(xí)暫時(shí)告別枯燥。

英語(yǔ)小笑話1：Who are stupid？誰(shuí)蠢？

A teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying "Everyone who thinks you're stupid stand up!"

Little Johnny then stood up.

The teacher said "Do you think you're stupid Johnny?"

"No ma'am but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!"

一個(gè)老師在對(duì)學(xué)生們講心理學(xué)，“誰(shuí)認(rèn)為自己蠢就站起來？”她一開始就說。

小約翰尼站了起來。

“你認(rèn)為你很蠢嗎，小約翰尼？”老師問。

“不是的，老師，我只是不喜歡看你一個(gè)人站著?！?/span>

英語(yǔ)小笑話2：A great man一名偉人

Teacher: Would Shakespeare be a greatman if he were still alive today?

Student: Of course. He must be a great man for so far nobody has lived to over 400 years.

老師：如果莎士比亞還活著，他會(huì)是一名偉人嗎？

學(xué)生：當(dāng)然。因?yàn)榈侥壳盀橹梗€沒有人活到400多歲。

爆笑英語(yǔ)小笑話3：Two Cute dogs

A man walks into a shop and sees a cute little dog. He asks the shopkeeper "Does

your dog bite?"

The shopkeeper says "No my dog does not bite."

The man tries to pet the dog and the dog bites him. "Ouch" he says "I thought you said your dog does not bite!"

The shopkeeper replies "That is not my dog."

一個(gè)男人走進(jìn)了一家商店，看到了一個(gè)可愛的小狗，于是他問店主：“你的狗咬人嗎？”

店主說：“不，我的狗不咬人?！?/span>

這個(gè)男人就試圖撫摸狗，然后狗咬了他?！鞍パ健彼f：“我還以為你說你的狗不咬人呢！”

店主和他說：“那不是我的狗?！?/span>

英語(yǔ)小笑話4：Four gold teeth四顆金牙

6.Policeman: Why didn't you shout for help when you were robbed of your watch?

Man: If I had opened my mouth they'd have found my four gold teeth. That would be much worse.

警察：有人搶你的手表時(shí)，你為什么不呼救呢？

男子：要是我張口的話，他們就會(huì)發(fā)現(xiàn)我的四顆金牙。那就更糟了。

爆笑英語(yǔ)小笑話5：Barking dogs don't bite吠狗不咬人

The little girl did not like the look of the barking dog.

"It's all right" said a gentleman "don't be afraid. Don't you know the proverb: Barking dogs don't bite?"

"Ah yes" answered the little girl. "I know the proverb but does the dog know the proverb too?"

一個(gè)小女孩非常不喜歡狗狂叫的樣子。

“沒有關(guān)系，”一位先生說，“不用害怕，你知道這條諺語(yǔ)嗎：‘吠狗不咬人?！?/span>

“啊，我是知道，可是狗也知道嗎？”

英語(yǔ)小笑話6：Class and Ass

Professor Laurie of Glasgow put this notice on his door：“Professor Laurie will not meet his classes today．”

A student，after reading the notice，rubbed out the“c”．Later Professor Laurie came along，and entering into the spirit of the joke，rubbed out the“l(fā)”．

格拉斯哥的勞里教授在門上貼了這樣一個(gè)通知：“勞里教授今天不上課。”

一個(gè)學(xué)生讀了通知后，擦掉了字母“c”。（去掉字母“c”意思為“勞里教授今天不見他的眼鏡”） 后來勞里教授來了，也想開開玩笑，他擦掉了字母“l(fā)”（再去掉字母“c”意思為“勞里教授今天不見他的屁股”）。

英語(yǔ)小笑話7：Find a girl just like your mother找一個(gè)像你媽媽的女孩

No matter which girl he brought home， the young man found disapproval from his mother． A friend gave him advice． “Find a girl just like your mother—then she's bound to like her． So the young man searched and searched， and finally found the girl．

9. He told his friendly adviser：“Just like you said， I found a girl who looked，talked，dressed， and even cooked like mother．And just as you said，mother liked her。

“So，”asked the friend，“what happened？”

“Nothing，”said the young man．“My father hates her！”

無論帶哪一個(gè)女孩回家，這位青年人總會(huì)遭到母親的反對(duì)。一位朋友勸他說： “找一個(gè)和你母親一樣的女孩——那她一定會(huì)喜歡她。”

于是這位青年人不停地找啊找，終于找到了這么個(gè)女孩。 正像你說的那樣，我找到一個(gè)長(zhǎng)相、談吐、穿著打扮，甚至連烹飪都和我母親一樣的女孩。也正像你說的那樣，我母親喜歡她。”

“那后來呢？”朋友問。

“沒什么，”青年人說?！拔腋赣H討厭她！”

英語(yǔ)小笑話8：The Same Service一樣的服務(wù)

.A man who had been married for ten years was consulting a marriage counselor． “When I was first married，I was very happy． I'd come home from a hard day down at the shop，and my little dog would race around barking，and my wife would bring me my slippers．Now everything's changed．When I come home，my dog brings me my slippers，and my wife barks at me．”

“I don't know what you're complaining about，”said the counselor．“You're still getting the same service．”

一個(gè)結(jié)婚十年的男人正在請(qǐng)教一位婚姻顧問?！皠偨Y(jié)婚那會(huì)兒，我非常幸福。我在店里勞累一天回到家，我的小狗會(huì)繞著我跑，汪汪叫，而我的妻子給我拿來拖鞋?，F(xiàn)在一切都變了。我回到家里，我的狗給我拿來拖鞋，我的妻子對(duì)著我汪汪叫?！?/span>

“我不知道你在抱怨什么，”婚姻顧問說。“你得到的服務(wù)還是一樣的呀。”

英語(yǔ)小笑話9： Afraid policeman were bringing wife back害怕警察把妻子帶回來

A highway patrol officer stopped a speeding motorist. "Don't you know what the blinking lights and siren mean?" he demanded.

"Yes sir" replied the driver.

"Then why didn't you pull over immediately?"

"I would have officer " the man said. "But last month my wife ran off with a policeman and I was afraid you were bringing her back.

一位公路巡警截住了一個(gè)超速司機(jī)?！半y道你不知道閃爍燈和警笛的意思嗎？”他責(zé)問道。

“知道，長(zhǎng)官，”司機(jī)回答說。

“那你為什么不立即靠邊停車？”

“我本來想這樣做的，長(zhǎng)官?！蹦悄凶踊卮鹫f，“但上個(gè)月我妻子和一位警察私奔了，我是害怕你把她帶回來?！?/span>

英語(yǔ)小笑話10： I can't help you我不能幫助你

12.Workman：“Mr. Brown，I should like to ask for a small rise in my wages． I have just been married．” Employer：“Very sorry，my dear man， but I can't help you． For accidents which happen to our workmen outside the factory we are not responsible．”

工人：“布朗先生，我想請(qǐng)您給我加一點(diǎn)工資。我剛剛結(jié)了婚?！?br/>

雇主：“非常抱歉，老兄，但是我無能為力。對(duì)工人在廠外發(fā)生的事故我們概不負(fù)責(zé)。”

以上就是小編給大家分享的“兒童爆笑英語(yǔ)幽默小笑話大全”中精選的10篇笑話，希望能為大家的英語(yǔ)學(xué)習(xí)增添一些樂趣。